In July of this year (2007), Britain introduced a smoking ban in all public places. Generally speaking, I thought this wouldn't be too bad - even as a smoker (who wants to live for ever: cretins, that's who). I prefer smoking outside, on the whole, and was slightly concerned about pubs, but all in all, I didn't care. Until it kicked in. And then I discovered that whoever wrote the legislation was clearly stupider than the average West Highland Terrier. And, as the year has gone on, the thoroughly stupid narrow mindedness of the tossers who put in all it's provisions has become more and more clear.
First off, I discovered they banned smoking in terminus stations. Now, as hopefully all of you are aware, these, in the United Kingdom, are usually tall, imposing structures with covered platforms built during the Victorian era. The last bit is important: they were built during the Victorian era, when trains were powered by coal, for God sake: these builders were designed by brainy people in frock coats and top hats to both keep rain off the passengers, and to prevent the smoke (a byproduct of using steam to power the locomotive, as I'm sure you're aware) from giving everyone on the station consumption. Simply put, a building that was safe for people to stand in with tens of steam locomotive's puffing away merrily is apparently a dangerous place for one man to set fire to a small bit of plant encased in paper.
Secondly, I discovered that they had abolished smoking area's in airports. Genius. Get people to queue up for an hour in a queue to check in, then make them queue for another half hour so they can put their treasured belongings in a plastic tray, remove half their clothing, and get felt up by an effeminate security guard (unless you are female, in which case you will be felt up by a "reformed" lesbian sex offender), then make them wait for another hour until their gate is called, drinking overpriced tea and fingering clothes that they still can't afford despite the fact they are duty free, then force them into a tin box with less personal room than afforded a French veal calf, where they are forced to sit for another half hour until it can suddenly launch itself down a runway into the sky, where it supported by a combination of air and rather flimsy looking wings, for another God knows how many hours, after which you'll have to go through immigration, wait for your bag (which probably won't arrive, as you left from a British airport and all the bloody handlers are probably on strike for some trivial reason), and probably get felt up again by foreign Custom's Officers who are absolutely certain that you have a Kalashnikov in your your suitcase and your 16 year old daughter has several pounds of cocaine hidden in her bra. All this you have to endure without a cigarette. I swear, if someone decides to highjack an aeroplane and crashes it into the Palace of Westminster it won't be terrorists, it will be nicotine-withdrawal based air rage.
Thirdly: why is someone more likely to die of me smoking on an open railway station platform then on the street?
And probably the biggest bit of stupidity also comes from the railways in the form of London Bridge Station. Not only is this stupid because of points one and three, but it deserve as special mention, as you are not allowed to smoke outside the front of the station as it has a a canapy above it, which covers a large taxi rank and a huge 'bus station. Think about that for a second. Apparently it's okay for diesel fuelled vehicles to spew out their exhaust fumes, but not for someone to have a cigarette. Who cares if diesel fumes are way, way more harmful the cigarettes (causing far more deaths from lung cancer than passive smoking, giving people asthma, and more besides) and that those 'busses and taxis are pumping out more of these harmful pollutants than 100's chain smokers in the same place could do in a month? The Government doesn't. So I smoked there anyway. In full sight of three police constables, four police community support officers, and dozens of railway and 'bus company staff, none of whom bothered me. It's nice to know that the people who enforce the law aren't cretins, unlike those cretins who make the law.
No comments:
Post a Comment